Wednesday, January 14, 2009


Dearest readers,

Gaspard and I have just received an invitation from two comely young sisters with whom I have a reasonable acquaintance--our mothers went to finishing school together--to attend an illicit late night soirée, the location of which we will certainly not reveal to you. No sense increasing the competition, is there, eh? Gaspard has gotten over his bout of melancholy. In fact, we are both in quite high spirits, considering we've finished all the spirits available at our present lodgings.

Before we dash, I want to address a question that was posed to me this evening by a whip-smart divorcée of considerable means: "What would a handsome young guy like you want with an older woman like me?"

The obvious answer to this question is threefold: money, social respectability, and an eagerness to please in the boudoir. However, the rake must always preserve extreme discretion. How can one lie without it? Therefore, the correct rakish response to such a question is, "[Insert name here], what you should be asking is, 'Why should a goddess such as yourself be dilly-dallying with a pup like me?'" This will both flatter her vanity and distract her feeble mind from the reality of her own advanced age. N.B.: If you have already forgotten her name, or never learned it, you may substitute "Darling" or "Beautiful."

That's all for now. The twins are getting impatient.


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