Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Gaspard and I have tremendously enjoyed you all getting to know us over the past eight months. I for one am glad that few--indeed, basically none--of you have written critical or communicative letters in reply, as we have had zero interest in becoming acquainted with any of you.
However, a recent fit of zealousness has persuaded me to change my mind. My confessor has, as part of a strict penance, advised me to spend more time helping others and less time thinking about my trivialities. Instead of helping out at the local soup kitchen where I often take my meals, tutoring a less-than-fortunate youth, or campaigning for donations of ascots to needy children, I have decided to help you - my loyal fans and devotees; and I have convinced Gaspard to help me.
Therefore, we invite you, steadfast readers, to write to us and ask us anything that may be troubling you. Having trouble charming the innocent maid you've loved since childhood? Wondering how properly to maintain three or four paramours in addition to the innocent maid you've just begun seeing? Or perhaps you just need a new cocktail that will provide an air of mystery and sophistication when you order it at your local lounge. Whatever the problem, you have gotten to know us and our style over these past few months and can expect us to respond with the same degree of mindfulness and forethought that is evident in our less than regular posts. As we are both without physical addresses for the time being, please send all correspondence to either Gaspard or myself at Arakesprogress@gmail.com.
Posted by Alisdair MacDowell at 2:15 AM